Why do bad things happen to good people?

If there were is a god, the one described by christians, the all knowing, all caring, all compassionate god, he really needs to step the fuck up and do his job.
From an outside observer, god really is a dick. If a normal person did the things that god has done, he would be executed. He would be tried, convicted and put in the electric chair, and saying "God...I mean me...told me...I mean God, to do it." Might work a bit on an insanity plea....but he would still get fried.
God has a confirmed kill count of 33million, 33mil counts of cold, calculated, murder. These people didnt die of natural causes, last time i checked brimstone shooting from the sky isnt natural, these people were murdered by God. This includes the great flood, where only Noah and his close family were spared and all other humans were drowned. Ya know what they say, cousins make dozens! Bow chika wow wow.
He was genocidal, smiting all of the ethiopians, 2 chr 14:9-14. There was a war going on, one side asked god for help and god fucking killed a million people for them...just because they asked...
So God will kill a million people for you, but you arent winning the lottery, sorry folks not the way the skywizard works.

Those are some of the more harsh criticisms, but now id like to move on to some more minor things.
As this post is titled, Why do bad things happen to good people? If you ask a christian they will probably tell you that bad times are challenges given to you by god to ensure that you remain faithful to him...basically, god is really insecure and has to be a dick to you to make sure that no matter what he does to you, you will still love him. Hell he completely ruined Job's life just to prove a point.
That would be like a guy killing his girlfriends cat, raping her dog and burning down her house just to see if she will still love him, and when she doesnt, he kills her because she was unfaithful, and you cant refute that argument, its damn near the exact same thought process. God = Psychotic boyfriend/cult leader.
Fossils...yep im going there...fossils. Most people, no matter their religious affiliation or lack there of, know that the world is old, that dinosaurs were real, and that fossils prove that. BUT, there are some who say that the world is not old, dinosaurs lived at the same time as humans and fossil dates come up really old because once again God is testing our faith...where to start...
So apparently, God knew that some time in the future we would realize that carbon 14 and other isotopes decay at a steady rate, that measuring the amount of these elements we would be able to determine the age of things, and to fool us, he put WAY more of these isotopes into things so we would think they are really old instead of believing ideas from bronze age nomads...makes sense to me, put that shit in some science books and call it a day, give it the Old Testament seal of approval and get those kids out in the fields of Theological Archaeology.
You people want to know the truth? The honest to truth?
There is no god, if there was he quit caring a long time ago and has moved on...probably to Miami.The earth is really really fucking old, the solar system is even older, and the universe is super ultra fucking old.Humans evolved from lower animals, before you start the whole "I didnt come from no monkey," following which you scratch your ass and smell it, read a book, a science book, an evolutionary science book. You are right, we didnt come from monkeys, but monkeys and humans came from the same common ancestor.
We dont know exactly how the universe started, but instead of shouting SKYWIZARD!!!! we keep asking and looking into the skies for the answers instead of sticking our head in the sand and pretending everything is going to be ok no matter what.
Bad things happen because bad things just happen, there is no reason for it, there is no grand plan for life, shit just happens. Praying isnt going to make it go away, thought it might calm you down to preserve your sanity. The best you can do is trudge through it and do the best you can. Its not what most people want to hear, but if God answered prayers, either there would be world peace, or the world would have been blown up a long time ago.
There isnt an afterlife. Even if there was, you probably dont really want it. Everyone says that when you die and you go to heaven you are there for all of eternity with God. Do you have any idea how horribly boring that would be?
500 maybe a 1000 years wouldnt be so bad, you could read a shitload of books, see a shitload of movies and talk with all the really dead famous people. But after that, say in a few billion years when the sun burns out, when there are no more people coming to heaven, there are no more new stories or books or movies, you have nothing. You get to sit there with all the people you already know everything about, who are probably starting to annoy you...FOREVER. Not normal forever where a dinner date goes really bad and you want to get away, this is true forever, for infinity years if you believe in it. You would have trillions of people, all going completely stir crazy and no amount of foozball is gonna keep them occupied because by then, everyone would know how to do the trick shots.
This is the only life you have, make the most of it. Enjoy your life and dont be a dick.