"TV pitchman Billy Mays was found dead today in his home in Tampa, Florida early this morning.
According to the Tampa PD, the 50-year-old TV pitchman was found unresponsive by his wife Deborah at 7:45 AM.
Mays had just returned from Philadelphia, where he shot a new OxiClean commercial. He was a passenger aboard a plane that suffered a blown front tire upon landing. He told a local TV station, "All of a sudden as we hit you know it was just the hardest hit, all the things from the ceiling started dropping. It hit me on the head, but I got a hard head."
We're told Mays was at his home around 6:00 PM last night, and according to a source Mays was "acting fine and normal ... he was talking business with his father-in-law."
According to cops, there are no signs of forced entry to the residence and no foul play is suspected.
The Medical Examiner's office is expected to complete the autopsy by tomorrow afternoon.
Billy's wife Deborah just released the following statement:
Although Billy lived a public life, we don't anticipate making any public statements over the next couple of days. Our family asks that you respect our privacy during these difficult times. "
No more late night infomercials, no more oxyclean, no more funny videos of him ordering drive thru, Im a mix of emotions right now.
Any guesses on who is next?
UPDATE: The FAA is reporting that during the rough landing, that caused Billy Mays to get knocked on the head by luggage, he was not wearing a seatbelt. How that would have stopped him from getting knocked on the head I dont know but it seems like they are scrambling to not get blamed.
RIP Loud as Hell Man
Revenge of The Fallen - fanboy review
I wrote it from the perspective of the everyman, the target audience of 14-35 year old males that like to see things go boom and hear naughty words. Apparently people want to hear it straight dope so here it goes.
This movie was a fucking mockery of Transformers, an anally raped bastardization of something that is held very dear to the hearts of millions that grew up in the 80s and early 90s. Michael Bay can eat a dick and choke on the chunky semen that flows forth.
I dont care if Sam is going to cheat on Mikaela, I really dont give a flying fuck if she is afraid their long distance relationship isnt going to work, it doesnt fucking matter to ANYONE.
All Skidz and Mudflap needed was some Robo-Watermelon and some Cybertronian Purple Drank to make their fucking stereotypes complete. They are worse than Jazz in the racists department. At least Jazz didnt have GOLD FUCKING TEETH. I swear to Primus I wanted to kill them so bad.
THEY GAVE DEVASTATOR BALLS...thats right, they gave the most badass villian in the entirity of Transformers a swinging ballsack in the form of wrecking balls. It would have been ok if there was just a glimpse and it was never mentioned, like a small inside joke similar to the priest getting a hard on in The Little Mermaid. NO! They have to point it out "Im directly beneath the target's scrotum!" I shit you not...thats a line in the god damned movie.
There are like 20 decepticons in this movie, but do you ever hear any of their names, FUCK NO! People dont care about name they just want "pew pew boom boom whoosh bang bang bang." If it wasnt for looking at the toy line I wouldnt have know the satellite was Soundwave! At least they worked Frank Welker into this one.
The fight scene at the end is anticlimactic. With 2.5 hours to work inside of you would think they could have some insightful dialogue, some character development, maybe some convincing backstory, nope no time for that elitist intelligencia bullshit, bring on the explosions! Hey Optimus takes some of JetFire's parts becomes badass and wipes out everyone in 2 fucking minutes! CUT PRINT ROLL CREDITS!
The movie sucks, its horrible, dont waste you damn time to see it unless you are a mouth breathing frat boy who likes hearing robots say "Bitch ass punk" or seeing a mini-con hump a chicks leg, or you are some retard with TruckNutz on your car, you'll laugh your ass off at dog humping, robo-dick and giant swinging testicles.
I fucking hate Michael Bay. I know I have said it a few times, but it bears repeating. He is a fucking moron who should not EVER be allowed near a director's chair. He is a hack who needs to be censured and removed from Hollywood. Dont ever see one of his films, its only going to disappoint you as long as you have an IQ above Peter Griffin's. Just stay away from his mind poison, it only makes you dumber....
I wish I could find the South Park clip but this will have to do:
Someone please stop this man before he puts rocket launchers on My Little Pony.
So there you have it, my take on Transformers from someone who actually gives a damn about Transformers. I want to strangle everyone that had anything to do with this movie except the voice actors....except for the ones that did the Twins, they die twice.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
I hate Michael Bay. I really really do. He is a hack director who tries to make up for his unoriginality by throwing in more pyrotechnics. He doesnt know the first thing about Transformers and was one of the worst choices for this franchise.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was a surprisingly good movie.
Most of the characters made a return (Sorry NSA nerds, no room for you). Shia LeBouf returns as Sam Witwicky, the unintentional hero of the films. Megan Fox returns as the eye candy who except for hotwiring a car doesnt really do much for the story line. Josh Duhamel's Capt Lennox really deserved more screentime, Tyrese the same. John Tuturro again provides some comic relief though at time he feel like a parody, he is now joined by Ramon Rodriguez playing Leo, Sam's roommate and conspiracy nut who is the first to start screaming when a rocket lands.
Im going to avoid spoilers as much as possible but they might slip in, this is your warning.
The story starts off 2 years after the events of the first movie, the Autobots are working with the US govt to stop the remaining Decepticons from find the remaining shard of the Allspark, everything is kept from the public because, as everyone know, we really wouldnt be able to handle badass robots on our planet.
Sam is trying to live a normal life by going to college, as he is packing clothes he discovers another sliver of the allspark that shoots beams into his brain causing him to see symbols like his great grandfather did. This is the main driving force behind the story, in the first movie they were after the glasses that were etched, in this one they are going after Sam brain a la Johnny Mnemonic.
As a long time Transformers fan there is a real tear jerking moment, I'll admit it, I cried a little. You just have to see it.
The main villian in this film is The Fallen. One of the original transformers who rebelled against his bretheren and was banished. Megatron is his disciple, kind of a Palapatine/Vader relationship it seems. The Fallen is after a long lost artifact that was left on Earth long ago by explorers and the symbols Sam sees are a map.
The story line is decent although lacking in certain areas. In my opinion you could remove Shia, give all of his lines and actions to Josh Duhamel and the movie would be a bit more concise. The awkward romance that was attempted really just took up 10-15 minutes of screen time that dont really drive the story. Yes I know it shows part of the human condition that everyone is trying to protect, but this is being marketed to tweens and long time fans that want to see robot action.
Sam does a lot of running, ducking, and telling others to run and duck. Mikaela does the same but more in slow motion to accent her jiggly bits. Leo screams alot and Simmons over dramatizes everything but in a good way.
The action sequences are animated well and the physics look great, some over use of slow motion and explosions but this is Bay we are dealing with. My main gripe with the robot fighting is that, with few exceptions, all of the decepticons look the same. Matte Silver with sharp points, when they call in backups you really cant tell who is who. Sure in the credits they are given names to list the voice actors but they are never mentioned on screens so its up to you to guess.
Towards the end it seemed like some of the CGI was rushed, it just looked too bright for the setting and the events going on at the time. And a scene where a small robot is on Sam it definately looks like the animation wasnt matching his facial movements.
Overall this film was better than I expected. If you can get past the forced humor (blender robo dick and chihuahua humping), the awkward romance (you say it first, no, you say it first) and some gratuitous Michael Bay explosions (they make everything better), this film is a great summer action flick. It was a great follow up to the 2007 movie and it does leave it open to a continuation of the franchise. It was reported a year ago that Peter Cullen signed a 3 movie deal so we can probably expect the third installment in 2011.
Pissing yourself and licking bear shit.
You wrote Ghostbusters for fucks sake..AND Ghostbusters 2. You are a damn genius when it comes to wit and humor and you give me this pile of feces?
Year One is by far one of the worst movies I have ever seen, through its entire run I didnt laugh once, not ONCE. Normally I love dick and fart jokes, I missed that stage of developement when they ceased to be funny, if someone cuts one, I laugh hysterically. Somehow this movie took that away from me.
Maybe I was expecting too much, maybe I thought the all star cast of comedians would make me laugh, if that is asking too much then I apologize.
Jack Black was so disappointing, his character basically tries to fuck anything that moves and gets by on dumb luck.
Michael Cera plays the role he always plays.
The women are just there for eye candy and have no depth to them whatsoever.
Only some of the background characters are worth anything, Cain (David Cross) has his moments as a psychopath trying not to get blamed for his brothers murder. The High Priest (Oliver Platt) is pretty good as a hedonistic, homosexual, pedophilic holy man, his time on screen was the only thing that got a small chuckle from me.
There is no story line, just incoherent transitions from one poorly written and executed joke to the next. There is no humor, just shock joke, like the eponymous pissing on yourself and eating bear shit, literally the bear shit joke goes on for 2 minutes too long.
The other 8 or so people in the theater with me were thinking the same exact thing. This movie wasnt funny, it wasnt clever, and Im not sure who thought it would be a good idea to make.
If you were planning on seeing this movie, dont. Unless you are a functional retard, then you might get a laugh or two. Just dont go in expecting Old School or Airheads, you will just want to kill yourself.
What are they doing to my childhood?
The original Transformers movie from 1986 was Epic on so many levels.
First there was the story, they fucking killed Prime in the first 20 minutes. It made an entire generation of little boys cry and I still get misty eyed when it happens, you have a heart of stone if you dont.
The animation was super smooth and vibrant, it was everything that you wanted a Transformers movie to be.
The soundtrack...nothing but 80's guitar rock, hair metal, and fast drums that kicked you in the ass, got you pumped up and asking for more, it was amazing, it fit perfectly and there was one song that stood out above the rest.
Stan Bush - The Touch
It was inspiring in a cheesy way, it was kid friendly and parent approved and it just worked with the story. So when I heard that this song was going to be in the new movie I thought, hellz yeah. Maybe they will make it one of the songs that bumblebee uses to talk with, since for some reason his voice box is still broken, or maybe they will use it as an inside joke like they did with GnR in Terminator.
Nope, they are using it in the main soundtrack, WOOOOOOO...wait...whats the catch? Yeah, there is a catch, it has been nu-metalized. It has been updated, modified and hipped up...and they fucked it up royally. So allow me to show you the next part in the continuing bastardization and raping of my childhood.
Im sorry children of the 80s.
Michael Bay is a bad bad man.
New Movies - Initial Thoughts
Avatar: The Last Airbender
I never really got into the animated series, my girlfriend has it all on DVD so maybe I will catch up before this comes out.
This teaser looks pretty good, and from the 2 seconds that I see the actor, he looks pretty close to the character from the show. Looks like his hair is buzzed into an arrow rather than it being a tattoo on his head but it could have just been the lighting.
There is one glaring problem with this film that I see. The director. M. Night Shyamalan.
There are some people that see him as visionary, think he does great work that makes you think about the movie as a whole....bullshit. He did a couple of awesome movies, Unbreakable and The Sixth Sense, after that it was like his sanity went into free fall. His other movies are either so obvious you see it after 30 minutes in or the twist is so ridiculous you wonder how it was greenlit by the studio.
I see this movie going one of two ways. First, it finishes the story line neatly, answers questions that fans of the show have had and provides the grand finale people have waited for.
Or....
Ang is really a space alien from an alternate dimension who was sent here in the guise of the avatar to manipulate world events so his species can control the elements and gain total domination, the only way to stop him is for his element bending friends to find the true last airbender, call for Captain Planet and stop Evil Ang from calling the other Xyboids into this demension.
If you really think about it, it's a toss up.
Ponyo
Trailer Here
I'm a huge Miyazaki Fan, and once again an all star cast is called together for the US release of his next epic.
But...Miyazaki has more of a cult following than anything in the US.
Is he a great director? Yes
Are his films loved my millions all over the world? Yes
Am I going to see this movie the day it comes out? Fuck yeah
Will the Majority of the US enjoy this film and understand its deeper meaning? Fuck NO!
Miyazaki is a thinking man's director. He uses amazing visuals and compelling characters to teach you something. Generally it is about keeping the world clean and livable, Nausicaa, Princess Mononoke, Castle in the Sky, etc. When you walk out after seeing one of these films you want to drop kick the next person you see tossing a can on the sidewalk, he is that good.
Though he is considered one of the best filmmakers in the world inside the US, other than some long time fans and convention goers, he is unknown. Depsite his Academy Award, despite his awe inspiring works, despite his sheer awesomeness, more people know McG than Miyazaki, and that makes me a sad Totoro.
This film looks great visually, it looks meaningful and insightful, I just with more people would see it than I know actually will. I have a feeling the majority of those over the age of 20 that see it are going to be dragged to it by their kids because the characters look cute. That just a fact.
So those are my initial thoughts on these two films. As new trailers come out I will be giving my opinions to the masses.
Tonight I will be seeing Transformers 2, expect a full review with as few spoilers as I can sometime in the early AM.
Transformers Sneak Clip
Now...where do I start...
I think the blender was shooting bullets from his robo-dick...
I dont really know what more I can say.
I fucking hate you Michael Bay, with all my heart, I fucking hate you.
At least there wasnt shameless product placement this time, Im talking to you xbot360 and CocaCotron!
Damn I fucking hate Michael Bay.
Ghostbusters - Final Thoughts
Do you see my problem?
The game was far too short. Yes the story line flowed, it was coherent, concise, and well written.
Which is great for a movie, not so much a game.
There are no sidequests, I was able to purchase all the upgrades midway through the game. If I played through it again, even on professional it would only take me a few hours.
Dont get me wrong, I was enthralled with the story line, I really felt like I was part of the action and there were some times when the game really creeped me out. I loved it to no end...I just hate that it had an end.
Many people will tell me that the multiplayer gives the game a longer life, and thats true, but right now my xbox has a busted ethernet port so I cant get onto xbox live, and my work schedule is so erratic and different from my friends that I wouldnt be able to play with them anyway. And I dont do random games, I fucking hate 14 year olds.
If you play on xbox live all the time and have a steady group of people to play with, buy this game NOW. If you are more of a casual person who doesnt have a lot of playtime or doesnt play games on line, rent this. In either case you are making a solid investment.
As a side know, anyone want to buy a copy of Ghostbusters?
Ghostbusters on the 360 Review
So I picked up my copy of Ghostbusters on the Xbox 360 yesterday. I havent completely finished the game but I have played enough to get a good feel for the game without potentially spoiling anything.
When you start the game you are introduced as a new ghostbusters recruit and you are instructed to try out some new equipment. Slimer escapes and that leads you to your tutorial on ghost busting.
The character models are spectacular. There are some animation sync issues with voices at times but only if you are looking for that kind of thing. The movements for the most part seem natural, when they arent you can tell its being used for comic effect. The voice acting doesnt even need to be talked about, its all the original actors back in their roles. The only exceptions are Rick Moranis and Sigourney Weaver who I believe are totally absent in this game. *sad face*
The controls take a few minutes to get used to as you have several different types of beams you can use with your proton pack. You have your proton beam, your capture beam, your stasis beam, your slime blower, your slime tether and a couple others that I cant remember right now, ill edit later.
Catching ghost is pretty straight forward, you wear them down with your proton pack, it then automatically changes to your capture beam which allows you to wrangle the ghost. It can be a little trick to get the ghost over a trap you have set down, it takes a lot of control stick tapping to get them in just the right position. You do have a Slam ability, normally it will just slam the ghost into the ground, or if you hold the control stick in a direction it slings the ghost in that direction.
Other ghosts arent captured, you just blow them up. These normally arent ghost but animated objects or possessed creatures. They blow up real nice.
The game isnt perfect though.
Right off, I would have liked to have been able to customize my characters appearance. The character model is somewhat generic, even just the hair color would have been acceptable. Instead you look like a mix between Ray and Peter, only skinnier.
Should you fail a mission, normally by getting pelted by small flying ghosts that can be a pain to aim at, the wait time to load your last checkpoint seems uneccessarily long. My average wait time for this was 30 seconds to a minute. At least you hear some good ghostbusters music and you are shown art for the proton pack as well as some game tips. Its still a long wait though.
Also some of the transitions from gameplay to cutscenes are somewhat abrupt, its a minor point but it kinda irked me.
There have been reports of screen tearing in the game, I havent noticed any graphical glitches in my copy so maybe it was the demo copies that had this problem.
Overall I would say this game is definately worth your time. Its fun, its funny, its actually scary, and you get to play as a freaking ghostbuster!
Yes I did say the game was scary. At times you have to wear your PKE helmet to locate ghosts and hidden items, its nightvision like with creepy sounds and beeps, then BAM a ghost busts out of a painting right in front of your face. The low lighting in building hallways also adds to the effect, narrow, flickering lights, skittering candlesticks....*shudder* Its not as scary as say, Silent Hill 2 or Fatal Frame: Crimson Butterfly, but there were a few hair raising moments.
Even if you arent a fan, this game is a decent FPS. There really arent any platform elements except for moving some items with your capture beam.
Graphics: 8/10
Gameplay: 7/10
Replay value: Depends on how much you like acheivements.
Overall: 8/10
Why do bad things happen to good people?
If there were is a god, the one described by christians, the all knowing, all caring, all compassionate god, he really needs to step the fuck up and do his job.
From an outside observer, god really is a dick. If a normal person did the things that god has done, he would be executed. He would be tried, convicted and put in the electric chair, and saying "God...I mean me...told me...I mean God, to do it." Might work a bit on an insanity plea....but he would still get fried.
God has a confirmed kill count of 33million, 33mil counts of cold, calculated, murder. These people didnt die of natural causes, last time i checked brimstone shooting from the sky isnt natural, these people were murdered by God. This includes the great flood, where only Noah and his close family were spared and all other humans were drowned. Ya know what they say, cousins make dozens! Bow chika wow wow.
He was genocidal, smiting all of the ethiopians, 2 chr 14:9-14. There was a war going on, one side asked god for help and god fucking killed a million people for them...just because they asked...
So God will kill a million people for you, but you arent winning the lottery, sorry folks not the way the skywizard works.
Those are some of the more harsh criticisms, but now id like to move on to some more minor things.
As this post is titled, Why do bad things happen to good people? If you ask a christian they will probably tell you that bad times are challenges given to you by god to ensure that you remain faithful to him...basically, god is really insecure and has to be a dick to you to make sure that no matter what he does to you, you will still love him. Hell he completely ruined Job's life just to prove a point.
That would be like a guy killing his girlfriends cat, raping her dog and burning down her house just to see if she will still love him, and when she doesnt, he kills her because she was unfaithful, and you cant refute that argument, its damn near the exact same thought process. God = Psychotic boyfriend/cult leader.
Fossils...yep im going there...fossils. Most people, no matter their religious affiliation or lack there of, know that the world is old, that dinosaurs were real, and that fossils prove that. BUT, there are some who say that the world is not old, dinosaurs lived at the same time as humans and fossil dates come up really old because once again God is testing our faith...where to start...
So apparently, God knew that some time in the future we would realize that carbon 14 and other isotopes decay at a steady rate, that measuring the amount of these elements we would be able to determine the age of things, and to fool us, he put WAY more of these isotopes into things so we would think they are really old instead of believing ideas from bronze age nomads...makes sense to me, put that shit in some science books and call it a day, give it the Old Testament seal of approval and get those kids out in the fields of Theological Archaeology.
You people want to know the truth? The honest to
There is no god, if there was he quit caring a long time ago and has moved on...probably to Miami.The earth is really really fucking old, the solar system is even older, and the universe is super ultra fucking old.Humans evolved from lower animals, before you start the whole "I didnt come from no monkey," following which you scratch your ass and smell it, read a book, a science book, an evolutionary science book. You are right, we didnt come from monkeys, but monkeys and humans came from the same common ancestor.
We dont know exactly how the universe started, but instead of shouting SKYWIZARD!!!! we keep asking and looking into the skies for the answers instead of sticking our head in the sand and pretending everything is going to be ok no matter what.
Bad things happen because bad things just happen, there is no reason for it, there is no grand plan for life, shit just happens. Praying isnt going to make it go away, thought it might calm you down to preserve your sanity. The best you can do is trudge through it and do the best you can. Its not what most people want to hear, but if God answered prayers, either there would be world peace, or the world would have been blown up a long time ago.
There isnt an afterlife. Even if there was, you probably dont really want it. Everyone says that when you die and you go to heaven you are there for all of eternity with God. Do you have any idea how horribly boring that would be?
500 maybe a 1000 years wouldnt be so bad, you could read a shitload of books, see a shitload of movies and talk with all the really dead famous people. But after that, say in a few billion years when the sun burns out, when there are no more people coming to heaven, there are no more new stories or books or movies, you have nothing. You get to sit there with all the people you already know everything about, who are probably starting to annoy you...FOREVER. Not normal forever where a dinner date goes really bad and you want to get away, this is true forever, for infinity years if you believe in it. You would have trillions of people, all going completely stir crazy and no amount of foozball is gonna keep them occupied because by then, everyone would know how to do the trick shots.
This is the only life you have, make the most of it. Enjoy your life and dont be a dick.
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